


Christmas with John

by Sg1sjshipper



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M, Shipmas 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:08:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28170654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sg1sjshipper/pseuds/Sg1sjshipper
Summary: This is for Shipmas 2020! Enjoy!
Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Carter/Jack O'Neill
Comments: 8
Kudos: 39





	Christmas with John

Christmas with John  
Thanks goes out to X Wing KC for the last minute beta.  
Mid-season 8

It was a distinct lack of flour that brought Sam to the only open store in town on Christmas Eve, Wal-Mart. Thankfully, there were very few people in the store. A few men who had waited until the last minute to shop for their wives and children looked lost as they browsed through the displays of brightly wrapped gifts. There were a couple moms who had brought their kids to the store just to get out of the house for a few minutes or because they too lacked enough flour to make gravy when their roasts were done. She also saw an elderly couple holding hands as they picked out a pie. Maybe they were taking it to their daughter’s house for Christmas Eve dinner with their grandchildren. Her lack of family hit her in the chest, and she looked away as she made her way to the register.

The young man in front of her had several frozen pizzas, a few frozen burritos, a large bag of M&Ms, two sodas, and a box of chocolate covered cherries in his cart. It was a classic young bachelor assortment, which made Sam grin. She’d eaten her fair share of frozen dinners, especially when she was younger, but they had tended to be healthier than what she saw in front of her. Luckily, these days she ate in the commissary more often than she heated up a frozen dinner. As he laid his frozen assortment on the conveyer belt something about the way he moved caught her attention. She gasped as she realized who he was, Colonel O’Neill’s clone.

“Jack?” He didn’t respond to his name. “Jack? Is that you?”

The sound of her voice seemed to come out of his dreams. He looked to his left. It took him a moment to accept she was really just one grocery cart from him.

“Carter?” Her face softened when he acknowledged her. “What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this on a day like today?”

She held up her lone purchase. “I was a little low on flour.”

“I see. Can’t bake all those pies without enough flour.”

Sam grinned and nodded. Her Christmas pies had become an SGC tradition and she ended up baking more to give away as gifts every year. She had underestimated how many crusts she would need to make this year. “I realized a little too late I didn’t have enough flour left to make gravy.” 

“That will be $33.52, sir.” The cashier had his food bagged. He pulled out his wallet.

“Add her flour to my purchases.”

“No.” Sam protested. “You don’t need to…”

“It’s a bag of flour Carter.” He stretched out his arm. “Hand it over.”

She did as he ordered.

“$35.98, sir.” He handed over his card.

“Now you can make gravy for the whole crew.”

Sam shook her head. “Just me this year.”

His eyebrows rose. “What? Why?”

She shrugged as he handed her the bag of flour. “Daniel’s on a dig, Teal’c is visiting his son, Cassie went to Hawaii with her roommate’s family, and General O’Neill is at his cabin.”

“I see.” He briefly pursed his lips. “I’d heard he got a promotion.”

Sam followed him towards the entrance. “So, what are you doing for Christmas Eve?”

“Pizza and burritos with a Die Hard marathon.”

“Die Hard is not a Christmas movie.”

“And your point is?”

Sam only briefly deliberated her decision. “I have a ton of food and nobody to share it with. You should come over to my house for dinner.”

He shook his head. “That wouldn’t…I mean we all agreed we wouldn’t…”

“It would be our secret.” She gave him a beaming smile. “I happen to have a spare pie.”

“Apple or cheery?”

“I’ll let you pick.”

“You’re sure?”

“I wouldn’t have offered if I hadn’t meant it.”

He looked down at his bag of frozen food. “I really ought to…”

“Go home and put that junk in the freezer and then head over to my house. I’ll put the roast in the oven as soon as I get back.”

He narrowed his eyes. “I’d hate to impose.”

“It’s not an imposition when you’re invited and any way, you’d be doing me a favor. You know I can’t eat that many leftovers.”

“I would hate for a good roast to go to waste.” He released a slow quiet breath. “It shouldn’t take me more than an hour to go home and get to your place.” 

“See you then.” She watched him pull out of the parking lot before going back into the store. She headed straight for sporting goods.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Sam pulled her sweater down and smoothed the edges before opening the door. He held up a small bouquet of flowers.

“Welcome, Jack.”

He winced. “Ummm, actually, I go by John now.”

“That…that makes sense.” Sam looked at the carnations in his hand. “Are those for me?”

“A little thanks for inviting me over.”

“Well thank you. Come on in.” She stepped back, ushering him into her house. She took his coat and hung it in her foyer closet.

Her house was filled with Christmas decorations, pine scented candles on the foyer table, garland along her mantle, a tree in the corner of the living room with strings of white lights covered in red and white ornaments, a wreath on the wall over the fireplace, and a cloth advent calendar hanging on the refrigerator. Jack took two bags and placed them under her tree. A foam star ornament captured his attention. A picture of Cassie in elementary school was in the center of the star. He remembered getting a few of these handmade ornaments from Cassie over the years, but of course like everything else, the real Jack O’Neill maintained possession of it all. He’d been left with nothing except a new start.

Sam saw what had captured his attention. “I hate she quit making her own gifts.”

“Yeah.” He let go of the star. “She’s all grown up.”

“Technically, she’s older than you.” Sam made no effort hide her sassy grin.

He scowled. “Don’t even.”

Sam giggled. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist.” She motioned towards the oven. “The roast is in the oven, but I need to do a bit of work on the sides.”

“Can I help?”

“You can keep me entertained.” She tied on a Christmas apron. “What are you doing these days?”

He sat on one of the stools at the bar facing her kitchen. “The usual high school crap. I’m on the hockey and baseball teams. I think we have a good chance of taking the regional tournament in hockey this year.”

“Nice. What classes are you taking?”

“English Lit, Advanced US History, AP Physics, and Calculus.”

Sam’s eyes widened. “That’s an impressive load.”

He shrugged. “The Air Force has agreed to smooth my path back to flying but I have to make an effort to check off all their boxes. It’s a little easier now that I see how all this stuff applies.”

“So, are you going to go to the academy?”

He winced. “I’m still deciding. The thought of being an academy cadet rubs me the wrong way, but I also understand why I can’t just walk back in as a Colonel. Doing ROTC at a university gives me a bit more leeway and since I will have so many credits coming in from high school, I’m considering doing a master’s before reupping.”

“A master’s in what?”

“History? Engineering?”

“Those aren’t exactly on the same spectrum.” She batted her eyes as she teased him.

“No, but I find them both interesting and I’ve decided this is all about taken the road less traveled.”

“I like that you’ve embraced this.”

John shrugged. “Not like I had much choice.” He looked around the counter. “Lots of pies this year.”

“I’m planning on taking a bunch in tomorrow, for the folks who have to work on Christmas day.”

“That’s nice.” He spun one of the pies in front of him. “Why no Christmas eve bash this year?”

Sam kept her eyes on the cutting board. “Cassie couldn’t face Christmas back here without Janet. When her roommate offered her a free trip to Hawaii it made sense for her to go. I mean the only thing left for her here is memories.”

“That’s clearly not the only thing left here for her.” 

Sam bit her lower lip before turning her back on him and moving to the stove. “Once Cassie made other plans everything else just sort of fell apart.”

“Ahhhh.” He watched as Sam stirred a pot and adjusted the heat on the stove. “So, if everything fell apart why are you still cooking your annual Christmas Eve dinner?” Her shoulders stiffened. “Let me guess, you still thought they’d show up, that he’d show up.”

She didn’t immediately answer. She moved over to the refrigerator, opened the door, and closed it without getting anything out. “Maybe.” She knew how pathetic that made her. She hadn’t delivered pies to the mountain tonight and she’d made enough food for a small army because she thought her team would still appear. 

“Did you ever forgive him?”

Sam looked over her shoulder at John. “Forgive who for what?”

“You know who.” John scowled. “When Daniel went all glowly I wasn’t there for you.”

She opened the oven door and pulled out the roast. “Daniel wasn’t dead.”

“No, but you still needed more than I was able to give you.” John scoffed. “Guess I didn’t learn much from my divorce.”

Sam put the roast down and turned around the face him, still wearing bear paw shaped oven mitts. “What?”

“When Sarah needed me, I couldn’t get past my own grief to help her.” John’s eyes locked with her. “And I couldn’t get past it to help you either. You deserved more.”

Sam took off the oven mitts and turned back towards the stove. “I’m fine.”

“Yeah, I can tell.” The sarcasm rolled off his comment and hit her like an arrow in the back. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

He could tell by her voice it really wasn’t fine. “You didn’t invite me so I could make your day even worse.”

“No, it’s fine, really.” She put two plates and a handful of silverware on the counter. “Would you mind setting the table?”

“It’s the least I can do.” It only took him a couple minutes to get everything laid out and he knew she was busy, so he moved back over to the tree. A box of ornaments was sitting tucked in the corner behind the tree. For a moment he had thought it was a gift. He picked a couple of ornaments up and looked for an open spot on her overly decorated tree. “You need a bigger tree.”

She snickered. “Any bigger and I wouldn’t be able to move around my living room.”

“But your ornaments don’t all fit.”

She stepped into the living room. “I know.” She sighed. “I’ve taken to rotating them.”

“Rotating them?”

“I have odd year and even year ornaments.”

“That’s…” He examined her tree. “That’s just weird.”

“Maybe next year I’ll get two trees.” Sam headed back into the kitchen. John took a candy cane off the tree and replaced it with an ornament. 

“So Teal’c is visiting his kid?” Jack raised his voice so she could hear him as he plopped down on her sofa and enjoyed the candy cane.

“Yep. It doesn’t hurt that he gets to spend time with Ishta too.”

“Ahhhh, young love.”

“They’re both over one hundred.”

“Love never gets old Carter.” Jack got up and plucked another candy cane off the tree. He replaced it with a gold ornament.

“Yes, si…” She stopped herself. This was John not Jack. 

“So, where’s Daniel spending this fine holiday?”

“PWP-3XS.”

“Christmas on PWP-3XS just seems wrong. It’s like celebrating in Hawaii. There’s just nothing about sand in your socks that says Christmas. You need snow.”

“You know people in Australia celebrate Christmas by going to the beach every year.” 

“It’s still not right.” He scoffed. “Why would he pick a dessert for Christmas?”

She leaned against the bar separating the kitchen from the living room. “I suspect his reasons are much the same as Cassie’s. Janet’s loss hit us all hard.” She narrowed her eyes at her tree. “How many candy canes have you eaten?”

Jack looked at the red and white nub he was holding between his right thumb and forefinger. “Ummmm…”

“Two. You’ve eaten two candy canes even though dinner will be ready in less than thirty minutes.”

“I have a high metabolism.” He gave her his best you know I’m adorable grin. “Wait.” His brow furrowed. “How’d you know I had more than one?”

She pointed at her tree. “The gold ornaments are for odd years.”

He looked over and saw he had put two gold ornaments up where he had removed candy canes. “Oh.”

She chuckled as she turned back to the oven. “You could turn on the tv or find some Christmas music.”

“Christmas music sounds festive.” He moved over to her stereo. He thumbed through the CDs laying on the shelf until he found an Irish one with a Christmas tree on the front. Once the music was playing, he moved back over to the bar. Sam was using the fat from the roast to make gravy. He liked watching her work. 

He helped her put everything on the table as she poured them each a glass of water. 

“Water? Seriously?”

“You’re technically underage. I wouldn’t want to stunt your brain development.”

“That is such a crock.” He let her get in a couple bites before asking what had really been bugging him. “So why isn't he here tonight?”

“By he do you mean General O’Neill?”

“Who else would I mean?”

“You could have been referring to Pete.”

“Pete? Who the hell is Pete?”

“My fiancé.” 

John dropped his fork and leaned forward. “You’re engaged.”

She felt her cheeks blushing. “Yes.”

“Well, that explains why he isn’t here.”

“No.” Sam slowly shook her head. “That’s ridiculous.”

“Ridiculous? I can promise you there’s no way he could sit here and watch you cozy up to another man.” John dramatically looked around him. “Speaking of, why would any decent fiancé leave you alone on Christmas Eve?”

“He’s a cop. He gets paid double time for working holidays. He’s coming over tomorrow night after he gets off his shift.”

“Schmuck.”

“Don’t be like that.”

“He values money more than time with you?”

“We’re saving for a wedding.”

John rolled his eyes. “Like I said I know why General O’Neill isn’t here.” John said the name as if it was a dirty word. 

Sam dug around in her mashed potatoes. “You’re wrong.” She looked up when he scoffed. “He lost interest.”

John shook his head. “Not a chance.”

“Things have been different since you were…” She waved her fork in a circle, unsure how to finish her sentence.

“Since I was created?”

“Yes.” A slight blush tinged her cheeks, embarrassed that she hadn’t been able to say it.

“Nothing could have changed that much.” His eyes bored into her. “He’ll always love you.” Sam looked away as her throat tightened. “You don’t believe me.”

“If that was true, he would have told me. I gave him a chance.”

“A chance?”

“Yes.” She glared at him as a touch of anger spread through her. He didn’t understand how much she had wanted to hear those words from him or how hurt she’d been when she realized she never would. “It took me weeks to say yes to Pete.”

“Weeks?” He sucked in a breath. “Ohhhhh, that had to hurt.”

Her eyes shot him a warning. “Pete’s a good man.”

“So good you couldn’t say yes to him because you were in love with another man?”

“Can you really be in love if it’s one sided?”

“It isn’t one sided.”

“I gave him the chance to tell me he didn’t want me to get married but…” She looked away.

“He can’t say that to you.” His face softened as he reached across the table, lightly laying his hand over hers. “He’s your commanding officer. He can’t make the first move.”

She closed her eyes. “Which is why I opened the door.”

“A door he can’t walk through without potentially hurting your career.”

“Oh please!” Her anger flared. “Are seriously trying to tell me he’d let me marry another man just to protect my career?”

“He’d let you marry another man because he doesn’t think he’s good enough for you.” He moved his hand away. “He knows you’re out of his league.”

Her anger disappeared like candy the morning after Halloween. “That’s ridiculous.”

“Not from his perspective.” His eyes roamed her face. “You’ve never understood how amazing you are.”

The blush returned to her cheeks. “You need to eat. You can’t live off candy canes.”

They managed to discuss safer topics for the rest of the meal. He helped her clean the table and wrap up all the leftovers. 

“I’m too full for dessert. Maybe we can sit for a while before I let you pick your favorite pie.” She glanced from John to the stack of pies.

“Is there really any question which that will be?” John’s grin spread across his face.

“I made chocolate pecan pies this year.”

“Wait, what?” The smile fell off his face when he realized he really did have to make a choice. He liked all of her pies, apple, pumpkin, cherry, lemon meringue, and key lime, but his favorite had always been her chocolate pie. Chocolate pecan however was a new twist on an old favorite, and he was torn between the two.

She giggled at the pained look on her face. “Maybe if you can stay on your best behavior you can have a slice of one and take the other home with you. My Christmas gift to you.”

A cocky grin returned to his face. “Speaking of Christmas gifts, I brought you a little something.” He went over to the tree and picked up two bags, a red one and a shiny gold one. He held them out to her but before she took them, she went to the tree and picked up a wrapped box. They settled in chairs across from one another holding their gifts. “You have two, so you go first.” 

She pulled the tissue paper out of the red bag. “Okay.” She loved opening gifts. She pulled out a pair of black gloves.

“Your hands are always cold.” He knew it wasn’t much but his choices at Wal-Mart on Christmas eve were a bit limited.

“Thank you.” She gave him a beaming smile. “Your turn.” He untied the ribbon before slowly pulling at the tape so he could neatly unwrap the dark green shiny paper decorated with snowflakes. He knew it was driving her nuts. Once the paper was off the box, he lifted the lid and found three colorful lures laying on a bed of tissue paper. 

“Wow.” His contemplative look worried her.

“I hope you still fish.”

“I do.” He looked up. “I’ve been looking for a good spot though.” He grinned. “Open your last one.”

She hastily jerked the tissue paper out of the green bag. “Rain-X?”

He nodded. “I use it on my helmet visor. Keeps it clean as a whistle if I get caught in the rain.”

“You ride?” Her eyes widened.

“As much as I can.” He smirked at her. “Not a practical way of getting around Colorado in the winter but much more fun than public transportation.”

“Much more.” She turned the bottle of Rain-X around in her hand. “This will be very useful, when it gets a bit warmer. Thank you.”

“You know I would have done better if I’d had options other than Wal-Mart.”

She giggled. “The same goes for me.” She sat the bottle on the table beside her. “Ready for that slice of pie?”

“I’m always ready for pie.”

He finished off two slices with large dollops of whipped cream. She internally shook her head as she reminded herself that he still had the metabolism of a teen boy plus he played sports. Her workouts and far too often skipped lunches let her splurge without any worry of gain weight but two slices were still beyond her limits. 

There was a lull after the pie. Sam took the empty plates to the kitchen and returned with a pie. “This is for you.”

“You had a spare pie?”

“I have time to make more.”

John stood. “Thank you.” He took the pie from her, feeling the tips of her fingers. “I should be going.”

“It’s not a school night.” She bit back her grin as her eyes sparkled with mirth.

“No, but I have a hockey exhibition tomorrow afternoon. We’re raising money for the Colorado Spring Food Bank.”

“That’s a good cause.” Sam stepped back and moved towards her foyer. “Let me get your coat.”

John followed her to the closet by her front door. As he sat the pie and box of lures on the foyer table, he saw a burgundy, tan, and brown striped scarf hanging in her closet beside his coat. “Isn’t that mine, I mean his?”

Sam looked back into the closet and saw the scarf. “Oh, yes. The General and I went to homecoming to watch Cassie crown this year’s homecoming queen. Last year’s queen always comes back and hands down the title. It got a bit cold and he lent me his scarf.”

“I see.” The glint in his eye told her he knew that loaning the scarf was an act that meant more than simple friendship to Jack. His silent implication bothered her.

“It didn’t mean anything.”

“You’re wrong about that.” She stretched out her hand with his coat. “I’m sure it makes it easier for you to keep telling yourself that.” He took his coat and slipped it on. “The reality is he loves you, but he can’t tell you.” He picked up his pie and box. “As long as you are in the same chain of command the ball has to be in your court.”

“My court?” Sam gasped. “You have got to be kidding.”

John sighed. “Good night Sam and thank you for dinner. I wish you luck with your wedding planning.” He walked out without looking back and climbed into an old beat-up pickup truck. Sam went back to the kitchen and wiped down the already clean counters. Her head was spinning. She’d given him so many chances to speak up if he was interested in her and he had passed them all up. But if John was right, she couldn’t just open the door for him, she had to walk through it.

She slept fitfully, letting her worries about her life choice leak into her dreams. When she awoke alone on Christmas morning, she knew something was wrong, but she still wasn’t sure how to fix it. She made a pot of the special Christmas coffee blend she’d bought a few weeks ago and sat by the window enjoying the quiet stillness of the snow on the ground and the happiness of the birds at the feeder. Her neighbor’s children came rushing out with new toys to play in the snow, making her heart cinch as she remembered Pete discussing having children as soon as possible. She wanted kids but as she watched the children playing, she wondered if she really wanted kids with Pete, a sickening realization. If the answer to that was no, why was she marrying him?

She moved back over to the sofa near her fireplace and picked up her phone. She dialed his number, knowing it by heart.

“Carter? Is everything ok?”

“Yes, sir. I was just calling to wish you a Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas to you as well Carter.” 

“I hope I didn’t call too early.”

“Not a bit. I can’t seem to sleep late anymore. Old age sucks.”

“You’re not old.”

“I’m older.”

“That does tend to happen every day.” She snickered.

“Have you talked to Cassie?”

“I thought I would call her after I get back from dropping off pies at the mountain since there is such a time difference between here and Hawaii.”

“Good point, I guess I’ll wait a while as well. Did you try a new pie this year or stick with the tried-and-true apple and pumpkin?”

“I tried chocolate pecan this year.”

“Ohhhhh, that sounds good.”

“I thought you might think so. I’ll reserve one just for you.”

“That’s my Carter.” He realized how that sounded and winced, glad she couldn’t see him. “Don’t spend too long at the mountain, enjoy Christmas with your fiancé.”

“Oh, well he’s working today.”

“On Christmas?”

“Cops don’t get a break, same as us.”

“Right, but…” He realized she was alone on Christmas. He knew she looked forward to Christmas every year, going out of her way to make it special for everyone. He’d assumed this year she would be celebrating with her cop but instead she was alone. “When you go in, I’d like you to go to my office. There’s something for you in my top right drawer.” He’d wanted to give her the gift before he left for his cabin but they’d both been busy, and no time had felt right. 

“You should check your glove compartment.” She’d hidden his gift there, so he’d have something to open on Christmas day. She’d also put gifts in Teal’c and Daniel’s packs with notes to wait until Christmas to open them. She’d sent three gifts to Cassie with directions to pack them and open them Christmas morning. She hadn’t forgotten her brother’s family, mailing their wrapped gifts almost two weeks ago. She felt like Santa’s elf making sure all her loved ones had something to open Christmas morning. 

“Really?”

“It’s not Christmas without a gift to open.”

“Thanks, Carter.” He paused. “If I’d known you were going to be alone…” He couldn’t finish the thought, it was too close to crossing the line, but the thought of her alone made his chest burn.

“I’m fine…sir.” The pause before the sir was noticeable. “I need to make a couple more pies so I can get to the mountain before the shift change.”

“Right.”

“I’ll have your pie ready when you get back in a couple days.”

“Looking forward to it.” 

“Bye, sir.”

“Bye and Merry Christmas Carter.”

She reluctantly hung up; glad she had called him. She looked over at her Christmas tree with one lone wrapped gift under it. It was for Pete, the one person she hadn’t gone out of her way to be sure he woke up to a gift to open. He would get it later tonight when he got off work. As she looked at his gift, she realized she had put the least effort into his Christmas, which left her feeling guilty. He deserved better from her.  
She shook off her guilt and went to the kitchen to make two more pies, to make up for the one she’d sliced into last night and the one she gifted John. When she pulled the flour out of the cabinet it reminded her of John’s assurance that Jack still cared for her. Had she given up too soon? Had she really even given up on him? Sam shook herself. It was too late to consider such thoughts. Right?

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't resist combining 2020 Shipmas with adding doubt to Sam's mind about her ill conceived engagement. Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to all the Sam and Jack shippers (although I hope to post at least one more story this year)!


End file.
